


The Joys of Third Shift

by fuzzyraccoon



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire, M/M, Original Character(s), Shifting writing style, characters to be added as they appear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-18
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-01-19 19:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1481899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuzzyraccoon/pseuds/fuzzyraccoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has no idea why he ever agreed to cashier for third shift at the only 24 hour grocery store Beacon Hills has. It’s ruined literally all of his summer plans. The one upside really has to be the smokin’ hot scowly dude that comes in once a week.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mrs. Alder is Scary as Fuck

**Author's Note:**

  * For [celestialpie](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=celestialpie).



> Hey brochachos! So uh, I was kinda thinking I'd see if anyone was at all interested in this story. Or if I should just give up on it. I have more than I'm posting here because it's a gift to someone, but I actually really like how it's turning out. 
> 
> Beta-reader is the lovely and magical love_in_the_stars! 
> 
> Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own any of these characters. No money is being made, all that jazz. There'd probably be a lot more character development if I owned this show.

Stiles has no idea why he ever agreed to cashier for third shift at the only 24 hour grocery store Beacon Hills has. 

Just kidding, he knows exactly why he agreed. Mrs. Alder is scary as fuck. 

When she wants you to do something you don't just say _no_. The second she gets her ancient little hands on you, her grip scarily strong for someone so small, you are so beyond screwed. 

He's 87% sure she's some kind of evil witch, with entrails and curses and everything. 

And he probably could have gone his whole life not even knowing about her iron-fisted rule over her grocery store employees if he hadn't decided he needed some money over the summer. Roscoe's mechanic bills were starting to get kind of terrifying actually, but there was no way he was getting rid of his baby… And after all the pranks he and Scott pulled, this was the only place willing to hire him. 

He hadn't even started out on third shift anyway! He'd agreed to first shift, where he figured he'd sleep in the afternoon and stay up as late as he wanted researching astrophysics or Babylonian pottery or whatever else he wanted. 

But nope. Mrs. Alder had ambushed him one day during his break and asked if he could please cover a third shift. And he had said yes because she was using her ridiculously sweet voice, the one where she was .01 seconds away from disemboweling you if you even seemed like you weren't happy to do her bidding. She had probably just been grumpy because she hadn't made anyone cry that day.

So he had said yes… only then she asked again a few days later. And then again a few days after that. And then one day he looked at his schedule and kind of realized that all his shifts were third shift. He may or may not be too much of a little bitch to say anything to her about it. 

And because she probably knew that, Mrs. Alder didn't even bother to ask him if it was cool for her to just make the whole third shift deal official. 

Which actually was sad alright. He was broken up about it. No more 3am TV Tropes binges or 5am Mass Effect Multiplayer with european dudes. 

Only the alternative was going to her office and actually _willingly_ talking to her. HAH. Wow that was just never going to happen. 

His healthy fear didn't make it any less boring. What with nothing to entertain him except the two or three people he'd see every hour. He actually _enjoyed_ all the cleaning duties at the beginning of the shift because it gave him something to do, how pathetic was that? 

The only upside to working third shift was probably the smokin hot scowly dude that came in once a week. Other than the cash he desperately needed, this broody god among men was probably the only reason he hadn't quit his job yet.

His name was Derek Hale. 

Uh, how did he know this? Don't worry about that.

Actually it's not really that impressive. Beacon Hills was one of those places where people were all up in your junk. So the second a Hale returns to oversee construction of the gutted husk of his ancestral home? Uh yeah you can bet everyone (except Scott) finds out about it. Everyone's expecting to see all the Hale's return to their old seat when the last bit of paint dries. And the old ladies freakin love sighing to each other and talking about how _sad_ it must be for the big lug, all alone in that enormous house with no one for company. 

They make him sound like a Prince or the protagonist of one of their harlequin romance novels. And yeah alright with a jawline like that he can't really blame them, but he's also pretty sure old Ms. Abernathy down the lane is not in danger of getting swept off to parts unknown by this guy.

For starters, there's no way he's anyone's knight in shining armor.


	2. Enter His Haleness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are so many references to stupid nerdy things in this and every chapter that... I don't even know. If it's too much let me know?

Derek Hale always came in around 3 or 4am, after all the college students and drunks but before the old folks, so it was obvious that he had avoiding people down to a science.

He'd stalk in (no seriously he had this swag-ass walk like a goddamn jungle cat) wearing indecently tight jeans and soft looking snug henley's and a leather jacket that Stiles was itching to get his sticky little fingers alllll over. And then, while Stiles would be minding his own business he'd freakin' turn around and stare at him with this creepy intensity and raise one of his judgy eyebrows like he was saying _'really? you're thinking about my ass right now aren't you?'_

Uh no eyebrows, god! That was like thirty seconds ago, he'd moved on to those big hands and the way they somehow managed to look amazing while aggressively engulfing one side of a can of protein mix.

How was that even hot? That made no sense. Plus douchey McStubble Hale drank protein shakes, he was obviously a massive tool. 

A tool he wanted to get drilled by.

Haha, get it? No actually that was terrible, sorry. Never repeating that one to anyone, not even Scott. 

Except maybe he would because Scott made the absolute _best_ horrified faces in the multiverse.

And don't even fight him on this. It was so obvious that his Scott was the best Scott, all other Scott's could just sit the fuck down. 

Damn tangents, his mortal enemies. Back to His Haleness. And how they didn't talk. 

Actually it was sort of a fluke.

The first time he'd been too busy trying to get everything scanned while also (not at all) covertly cataloguing everything about this smokin hot guy that was right with the world and it had just set up this weird precedent of not talking. 

And now it was like a THING, some freakin' sinkhole of evil not-talking-ness where he'd just get glared at like he was the monster breaking their super special bro-code whenever he opened his mouth to say something. 

But things were going to change now. Today even, right now as he was ringing up all of Grumpypants' items. Because their special bromance was going to level up like crazy amounts. It was going to fucking _ascend_ and Derek Hale was going to manly cry over how they had become like goddammn possessed by Thorian spores mind-twin close. 

Okay no, that wasn't going to happen. It would probably be better to hope for some kind of Betazoid empath-ish bromance where they could totally know what feelings stuff was happening because Stiles kind of sucked majorly at those and he didn't even have to know this guy to be positive that Derek was shit at them too. 

Just no naked weddings, he totally agreed with Worf on that one. 

"What?" Derek gritted out, his teeth clenching together in a way that was completely not healthy. And uh yeah more importantly, totally tearing Stiles out of his deep contemplations about their epic future. 

Asshole.

"What what?" Stiles said, like an idiot because he had no idea what was going on right now. 

He had been psyching himself up to talk to this dude and he just got beaten to the punch. Seriously not okay, now he was off his game. There was no way this was going to end well. He almost felt bad for the guy. 

Almost being kind of the operative word because he was totally sure that he was just about to do that thing where he used words to throw up all over people and make then severely evaluate their lives.

"Naked wedding." Derek spits out, like it's killing him to say it, but for some bizarre reason is compelled to. It comes out so flat that it can't even be a question, and his expression gives away how little he actually wants to know.

But then why did he ask? You can't ask Stiles questions and not expect an answer, that's crazy soup. Also, the fact that Derek Hale said that will forever be burned into his brain. 

It's kind of a surprise, so he stares at the guy, because this is his life right now. And then after a solid ten seconds his brain starts working and yeah oh he should at least explain so he doesn't sound like a complete nutbar right? Ye-ah.

"It's uh. I was just thinking about Betazoids."

"Betazoids." Derek repeats, his whole face telling the world that he doesn't really know how it is that he's still standing here.

Actually he's starting to get this scowl, where it's obvious that he's getting suspicious. How is it that shenanigans have to be afoot for this guy to have a (sort of) normal human interaction with someone?!

Geeze, his judgy eyebrows are clearly saying that witchcraft is the only thing that could possibly be forcing him to live through this right now. Rude.

"Right Betazoids!" Stiles beams, because he is going to salvage this in the name of their future bromance.

The mythical degree of his smile has McScowly blinking, but he covers it up so smoothly that it probably never actually happened in the first place. Whatever it totally did.

"They can telepathically sense what you're feeling. I was thinking that it'd be a pretty useful power. Like hey that dude hates my guts? I did not know that, I should probably passive-aggressively treat him like shit from now on. Or oh hey that kinda creepy girl is actually super nice and fluffy, now we can be bros and oh wow look at all the things we have in common, awesome. Literally the only thing that sucks about them is that they have naked weddings. I do not wanna get an eyeful of my Father-In-Law's junk is all I'm saying." 

He's babbling, he knows he is. But Derek actually stopped looking murderous a few seconds back and is firmly in this kind of angry-baffled stage so he is counting that as a win. 

He takes Hale's cash when it's offered and quickly feeds it to register. He feels like he's warming up to the subject but he knows that he really should stop at this point. Even then, he really can't help saying one last thing while he's handing the receipt over.

"And I mean don't lie, it'd be pretty great to know if someone was secretly evil." He even does this waggly thing with his eyebrows that he has on good authority is so absurd that it's actually kind of dorky-adorable. But that throwaway line really means something to the guy, because his reaction is instant.

"Yeah," Derek says, the word coming out with his exhale and it's so full of _something_ that it hurts to hear. He takes his bags then, his shoulders up like he's warding off an attack, and leaves without saying goodbye. 

Thats okay though because Stiles is pretty sure that he had somehow managed to unintentionally be a huge douchenozzle to the guy.


	3. Lisa Frank Journal of My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've kind of been taking forever to update this. Sorry about that. I'm really trying to actually be reasonable about this but it's just not happening. 
> 
> Oh yeah, Scott's in the next chapter! I'll get him in more because he's just the bees knees, haha.

He must've not messed up too badly though, because Derek swings by a week later. 

Unfortunately he seems to know exactly what he wants today because he's done shopping in about five minutes. Who the heck knows what that means? Hopefully not that he hates Stiles but needed to come in so bad that he couldn't avoid it. 

Maybe there's a kind of ratio going on of how much of a poop-nose he finds Stiles to be versus how much he wants to crush the skulls of the frankly hot soccer moms that are brave enough to smile at him in the light of day. If so, he's probably barely winning out at this point with the way the guy's face crumbled last time. 

Derek walks up to the register and seems to put everything down a little less angrily than all the other times so it feels distinctly like some progress has been made. Wow did he just psyche himself out for the last few days for nothing? Stiles looks down the belt at the items and sees….

"Garbage bags, paper towels and body wash?"

He tries not to sound too judgy but he probably fails. Derek just kind of gives him his patented unimpressed look, the one he clearly spent years perfecting for just the right amount of haughty disdain. 

"No no wait, I got this. It's so you can smell minty fresh after a night out hiding bodies in the woods, right?"

He does a variation of the waggly eyebrows thing, because he can't be the master of cute like Scott but he does alright endearing himself to people through sheer ridiculousness. 

Derek intensely stares at him for a full minute before saying with a complete deadpan, "I cut the pieces up too small."

It makes him groan out like a dying animal, "Oh my god I think I love you now."

Because that was delivered absolutely _perfectly_. How could someone this annoying be this goddamn amazing?! Thats just not okay. It's going to make it even harder for him to stop himself from rubbing his face all over Derek like some kind of demented cat. 

Even though he really meant it in that moment, Derek has this supremely unimpressed face. He's probably used to people confessing their undying love to him on a daily basis.

The bastard.

"So, why'd you really need trash bags so bad at 3 am? Have some ass-crack-of-dawn spring cleaning to do?"

He's clearly being a nosy asshole. But come on! It's obviously okay because no dramatic storming off has happened today (yet).

Derek smoothly grabs his bag when it's handed over and shrugs. It's almost studied.

"Maybe I came to see you."

Stiles snorts unattractively in response. Like he's going to fall for that one.

"Yeah right. You record our every meeting in a sparkly Lisa Frank journal." He makes sure to lay it on a little thick and lofty, batting his eyes for added effect.

"Next page has where all the bodies are buried," Derek says, with an added baring of teeth. It's the closest thing to a smile he's ever seen the guy do that feels at all sincere.

"I hate your stupid face." Is the only thing he says, because this is the road to a proper friendship.

Unfortunately, Derek's eyebrows very quickly indicate what utter lies that last statement was (with a layer of completely unnecessary smugness) before he leaves.

The coolness of that walk is completely undiminished and Stiles would be more angry about it if that ass wasn't so damn fine. 


	4. Ultimate Bro of Ultimate Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott is finally here! Yay I'm so happy I love Scott he is literally the best ever. He'll have a few more chapters for sure because he's a great way to break things up and is adorable. 
> 
> Uhhh what else? Oh yeah the next chapter is kind of long so it's been taking me a lot of time to do. But you get some background information so yay?

Obviously this exchange needs to be told to another person, to commemorate the fact that it actually happened.

…and also because he and Scott have always been incredibly codependent.

It's important that Scott understand he's not shopping around for a new ultimate bro of ultimate destiny to replace him or something like that. Just you know, he'll have a second reserve best friend, preferably with benefits. 

Only Scott is just not getting any of that out of this conversation. In fact when Stiles starts retelling the whole magical experience with the dead bodies and the Lisa Frank diary he actually starts looking kind of completely horrified.

It's almost as good as the one he got that time Stiles told the drilling joke.

Ha. Okay, no. _That_ face had easily made Top 10, maybe Top 5. 

Still pretty good though.

"Dude… that's messed up," his brochacho says, his expression turning something like protective dangerously fast. Nope no that's no good, that's kind of the last expression he wants on Scott's face. Oh crap he even put the controller down, shit is gettin real right now.

"No, no way! It's awesome Scott. He's awesome! You just don't get it," Stiles is so adamant right now, he's also pretty sure he is doing a shitty job of convincing Scott. Ugh he needs to come up with something quick!

"We've talked a couple of times and he hasn't started avoiding me or anything. Actually I get the feeling that for him this is the equivalent of never shutting up. You'd almost think he's a normal guy." Er… that was kind of an exaggeration. But well he actually uses his words most of the time, or at least snorts amusedly or rolls his eyes or moves his eyebrows those times he doesn't. 

"So he basically just tolerates you?" Scott asks, with that adorable puppy head-tilt. It's a good thing too because that little shit is making fun of him right now. His own best friend! At least he's not being protective, Scott is like the most stubborn guy he knows. 

"Yeah," Stiles sighs, throwing himself on the bed.

At least the bed will always be there for him, super comfy and warm and therefore better than Scott in all ways. It's fluffiness doesn't help him right now though, especially not when he realizes that the potential for a really hot dude to be laying there next to him is technically possible but also just not gonna happen. He tries not to make any groany Tina Belcher sounds, he's not 13, but it's ridiculously tough. 

So tough that he obviously did a really crappy job cause Scott kinda worms his way halfway up the bed and gives Stiles these little pats of brotherly solidarity. 

"Maybe if you keep doing it you'll break him and he'll just give up and be nice to you?" Scott says, trying for hopeful.

"I mean you've kinda been doing that already and it sounds like it's working?" He can totally hear the question at the end of that last sentence. Scott has no damn clue obviously. Still it's kind of nice to talk about it, even if he feels like a kid. 

"I don't really know what else to do," He shrugs, because it _has_ been working and it's been good so far. Ugh, how come this is so much worse than with Lydia? 

"I dunno, it kind of sounds like you have a chance to at least be friends? With Lydia you kind of ruined it with all those times you were sort of creepy. At least this dude is creepier than you are, he'll probably be cool with whatever you do."

Aww shit he said that Lydia thing out loud, he really needs to stop doing that, especially if it leads to things like Scott talking about how creepy he is with the most patient and accepting tone of voice ever. Dude should be a counselor or something. 

"Wow thanks Scott," Stiles says in the most sarcastic, scowly voice he possibly can. 

"No problem!" Scott replies with completely unironic happiness and pride. He then wiggles all the way up the bed and flops on top of Stiles, pressing down with all his weight and the stupidest pleased puppy look on his face. 

It takes forever to get him off. He's heavier than he looks, especially when he decides to be the lame sibling Stiles never had. 

He can't complain too much though, Scott is kind of the best. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh one more thing! I did mention here that a Lydia friendship isn't happening but that's just taken from the perspective of the characters at this point. I do like her so at some point it'd be nice to have her. But honestly it'll probably be a bit before that happens.


	5. A Card for Every Occasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long to update this! This chapter is a lot longer than I planned. Don't expect them all to be like this because most of them honestly won't be.

When the house is completed it's all anyone can talk about. Apparently joggers have been "accidentally" crossing over into Hale territory for a good month now. It had taken that long for anyone to have the courage. But how could they help themselves really?

The Hale house restored, big and breathtaking as before and oh isn't that delightful because the family will all be back _obviously_.

It'd be just like before, with the bonfires, the strangely attractive extended family popping up _everywhere_ , and the bake-off competitions that made a usually mild Talia Hale into a fearsome warrior not to be crossed.

And that's kind of nice, because Stiles doesn't feel like such a creeper anymore over having extensively researched the Hale family. The whole damn town knows Laura's bright laughter and the shape of her smile.

So it stands to reason that he doesn't have to feel bad about that picture of her noogieing a kid Derek that he found on some extended family's public Facebook.

Besides, if it was supposed to be a private family photo then they should have changed their settings. Those pictures are practically public domain at this point. Someone is probably ripping the picture off for a foreign advertisement _right now_.

Frankly he would be surprised if he was the only one cooing over that shot, he's not even the best facebook stalker he knows and he's kind of severely lacking in the friends department in the first place.

And maybe he isn't the only one thinking about how precious that shot was, but that doesn't really matter does it? Because he's kind of starting to take this to a whole nother creeper level.

Not like some weird imagined fantasy of them being married bullshit, but it's still kind of pathetic.

After all, pictures of the Hale's being dorky little kids may or may not be located in a locked and hidden folder which is maybe in turn located in his Homestuck A History folder.

It probably doesn't even have to be hidden because that shit is so opaque it makes people backpedal like nothing else.

Another good spot might be his Recurring Gods Across Varying Mythos Instructing Parallel Societal Mores folder. No one ever looks in that one because that is some Master's thesis level bullshit right there.

Uh… although it's probably important to note that the folder's header is something like "Gods Doing Stuff to Peeps", because no way would he have a title that long for a folder anywhere outside his head.

What was he…? Oh right! So yeah, there must be something in the water because all the denizens of Beacon Hills (except Scott) are super interested in when the Hales are coming back but are simultaneously too shy/coy/terrified to ask Derek to his face.

He likes to imagine the uncompromising, harsh look Derek would give them when he's feeling sad, and he gets that it's totally assholeish of him. But well he knows that about himself.

The whole situation is kind of compounded by the fact that the Hale's _don't_ come back.

This concept apparently is not a thing the townsfolk can compute. The aneurysm faces everyone makes at the news alternates between being priceless and unsettling. How can Derek McGrumpypants be some kind of local celebrity New Kid in Town bullshit?

The whole situation is all anyone can talk about and its kind of sad. Like does this town really not have anything better to do?

Okay, yes, so maybe Stiles realizes that he is being an enormous king of the hypocrites right now. He wants to know just as badly as that group of overly interested soccer moms and those two dads. BUT! The vital difference is that he's not already married!

Going out with Stiles as opposed to one of those parents would make Derek about 7000% less of a homewreaker. So… there's that.

Oh right right, and also he's at least talked to the guy, they're at least acquaintances. So it's also not creepy if he's curious, okay?

And it's definitely weird. With all the Hale's off living on the east coast why would Derek move back all on his own to crummy, uninteresting Beacon Hills?

Some straightup shenanigans have to be afoot for that kind of crap to happen.

Is this some kind of strange imposed punishment? Is Derek Hale some kind of quasi exiled Prince? The way that people ask this sort of stuff without any irony, Stiles doesn't really know if he should laugh or… no actually he basically just wants to laugh.

It's just the difference between laughing like a douche because that shit is crazy or laughing until he has to lay quietly in the fetal position for a few hours because Derek's situation is giving him _feelings_.

That shouldn't be happening to him! Not when he's only had three or four actual full on conversations with the guy.

Wow and putting it into perspective like that makes him feel even more pathetic.

Still, the point is that even though he actually might have a reason to be curious because they've exchanged words and whatnot, they also aren't close enough for him to really ask whats up.

Which sucks… but at least Derek is actually being kind of nice to him these days. If saying words to him means being nice. And he comes into the store like twice a week now buying really domestic things that he probably never realized he actually used or needed until that day.

Later that day is a prime example of this.

Derek comes in and throws Stiles a bro-eyebrow (a special variant of the bro-nod) before grabbing a little basket and swaggering down the aisles. That walk is still hot as all get out… but him holding that flimsy little basket has also not gotten old and never ever _ever_ will.

Stiles is able to hold out for maybe 10 minutes before he implements the most beautiful gift ever to be given to him.

On the days he doesn't work the night shift this girl named Heather does and she has apparently decided to educate his dumb ass because she is the best ever (sorry Scott). She too is a part of this special McScowly appreciation party (although Derek usually doesn't go on her days, weird) and out of some kind of wonderful pity decided to inform him that he could have been bugging the dude even more than he already does _this whole freaking time_.

Apparently there's a special magic little pager, ha! And he thought that he'd never need something so old school.

This glorious pager from the Meat department (or Floral but he is MANLY okay, SO MANLY) that you can totally steal for the shift because Meat is closed long before Overnight starts. Then you throw it down on the newly cleaned belt, and when someone actually needs you they press the button and the walkie you are forced to carry around obnoxiously alerts you.

It's gold for a guy as distractible as Stiles is and if he wasn't gone for a dude that's waaay out of his league he'd totally snuggle the heck out of Heather for this lovely gift.

So yeah, as soon as the guy shows his perfect stubbly face Stiles tries super hard to resist being a little booger but it's so damn difficult that he only manages ten minutes before the magic pager comes out.

Derek doesn't even bother to look away from the rack of cards to talk to Stiles, at this point he probably knows he should go about his day if he wants to accomplish anything. After a solid 6 seconds though, one of those sassy caterpillars on the guy's face takes exception to his presence.

"Shouldn't you be doing your job?"

It honestly shocks Stiles a little bit every time Derek talks because you're expecting some crazy deep, gravelly voice and you don't get that and it's somehow so _nice_ that a thing like that can be.

Ugh, Stiles just knows he's got a dopey grin on his face because of that thought, but he tries to go for casual anyway.

He's pretty sure that trying to look relaxed while feeling super happy is doing some pretty complicated things to his face so he's really glad at this point that Derek is being a poop and not looking at him.

"Nah, I have a thing for that." He pops off his little radio and waves it around in a kind of "ta-da" way… which is only slightly diminished by the fact that Derek isn't actually looking at him. Yet he's obviously paying more attention to Stiles than it seemed like because after that he turns a little bit so he's at least partially facing Stiles. Wow, it's kind of pathetic that a little move like that would make him warm inside, but that's how it is.

"What're you looking at anyway?" Stiles asks, dying with curiosity because Derek is looking at cards.

Who the heck is he getting a card for? That whole soccer mom group is pretty adamant that he never talks to anyone.

What?

It's pretty easy to use them as informants since they just **love** to talk about Derek when they can. It's not a crime to shamelessly interrogate them for information in a sneaky way so they think they actually kind of vomited their embarrassing crush all over this poor teenage boy. It's actually nice for someone else to do something dumb like that for a change.

Derek does this thing where he kind of shifts his weight from one foot to the other and rolls his shoulders a tiny bit, like he's actually considering telling him instead of just going for the "cards" dad-joke that Stiles accidentally left himself open for.

"It's… for my sister. She's having a baby."

The way he paused and then went on in a slightly gruff way like he was being a little bit defensive should not be that adorable. Nor should the way he's kind of staring helplessly at the cards be so damn cute, but it is. Well alright, no he's not actually doing that, he's more like glaring at them with a slightly blank face like they've offended him. But see, Stiles is starting to figure this dude out. And now that he is, the slight panic over having to get something as normal as a card for family is as obvious as it is precious.

Considering that this is a dude that goes out of his way to avoid people, Stiles can kind of see how picking out a card for his sister might actually be really flippin' hard to do.

"That's cool, you pick one out yet?" He's going for casual but it probably comes out a little snotty too considering that he damn well knows that Derek hasn't picked anything yet. The guy's kind of decisive about most things, so if he had he wouldn't be waffling right now.

Mmm, waffles.

Derek's lips pursed a little and he shook his head minutely, coupled with the intense staredown he was having with the cards it was obvious he was probably going to give up soon. And that was something Stiles couldn't let happen. Not when the perfect opportunity had just presented itself super conveniently out of nowhere like the Almighty Chuck was in on his plan to make them epic bros of ultimate destiny.

That sounded kind of opportunistic, but he honestly wanted this whole epic bromance thing to actually happen and this was the road to getting there so screw you he was going to go for it.

"Weeelll you're actually insanely lucky then. Like seriously no, on a scale from Adam Milligan to Commander Shepard you're…" Derek's unimpressed but at least not angry expression was all he needed for the words to dry up in his mouth, "…you're up there. Anyway." He sort of shuffled over next to Derek and plucked out a few cards like the damn magician he was.

Which was funny that he was doing this because he had kind of a weird relationship with cards. Every year at the same time he and his dad would get a little stack of them from very extended family… like they needed any kind of reminder. It used to be kind of unbearable to see that little cardstock pile sitting in their brightly colored envelopes on the kitchen table or in the mailbox.

Lately though, it's been getting easier. He doesn't think it's what people call the hurt fading, but more like now that he's a little bit older he knows how to handle it better. Sometimes he even opens them and reads them, and it doesn't make the pain go away, but there's something _nice_ about those aunt's remembering when everyone else outside his family seems to have forgotten _her_.

So yeah, it's good to be able to use his vast experience with cards (they had to get pretty inventive over the years) for something that might be useful to someone.

The careful way Derek takes the cards out his hands kind of alerts him that whatever mood was going on, he changed it.

It's not really bad though, if the tension in the guy's shoulders easing is any indication. So he might need Stiles to be a little serious right now, that's fine. He actually can do serious, contrary to popular belief. It just usually doesn't seem like it because he really has no clue how to interact with people that aren't Scott.

Making everything into a joke is just kind of easier than showcasing how much of a complete failure at human interaction he is.

So he makes encouraging faces at Derek that are being ignored and watches him make a few faces of his own. He's narrowing the cards down, putting all the ones he doesn't like in a previously empty bracket like his own personal discard pile.

When Derek gets to the card with a cartoon dog proclaiming that 'raising pups can be ruff, but keep your nose up and you'll do great!' he actually stops to look at Stiles with that ridiculously judgmental look again. Like he's trying to figure out if Stiles is somehow fucking with him, which is a look he's actually really used to getting.

"Oh come on! What do you have against dog puns?!" Is ripped out of Stiles without any say on his part.

He was trying to be quiet really, but what living being is going to hate a card about an adorable doggie? Only a monster obviously. He takes the card from Derek and holds it protectively close before putting it far away from his judgmental eyeholes.

In retrospect the dog card might not have been the best option, but past!Stiles thought the card would be fun, not completely inappropriate for the atmosphere. Past!Stiles is kind of an idiot though, so screw him. He's not going to apologize for it though, he stands by the adorableness of that dog.

Unfortunately, the intensity of Derek's grumpy face is growing by the second. Stiles though, would really like to live, so he draws the guy's attention back to the other cards he's still holding.

"Hey look, three more cards that I gave you, completely dog-free! Check those out."

Stiles tries to look as innocent and guileless as possible, although at this point he's pretty sure that'll make Derek assume that he actually _is_ trying to mess with him. He gets stared at really strongly for a couple more seconds in a kind of "this isn't over" way before Sourgrapes reluctantly goes back to the cards.

At around 4am when his shift feels like a complete waste of company money he'll have the store to himself and he can go over every second of this encounter in excruciating detail. He can sneak the little writing pad inside his apron and jot down all the things that he'll need to put into his Derek Hale file and his quest for their Epic Friendship of Ultimate Destiny. For now though, he's going to focus on whats happening right here.

Derek has three cards left.

The first one is a champagne color with long flowy writing all over the front and three more lines inside. There are two birds soaring up the side of the page in the background of the inside and all in all there's something zen about it for all the writing. The second one is incredibly simple, with a light forest scene on the cover that brings to mind some of the sparser parts of the preserve. There are almost no words and the inside is almost completely bare. The last one is kind of a wild card, all bright and shiny and even kind of glittery. The writing is cheerful and even though he's never met Derek's sister there's something about the way that he considers it that says she might like it, even if it's for a laugh.

It isn't even a choice though, for all that the last one might (or might not) be her, the second one's all Derek. He goes for it like Stiles suspected he might when he saw all three lined up.

It's got a lot more muted colors, going for impression as opposed to photorealism and it's completely vague with what's being congratulated. It just kind of fits him for all that a black leather jacket and a muscle car is no one's idea of "woodsy". He takes the other two and carefully puts them in a slot right next to the ones he didn't like, giving them their own places for all that he still didn't pick them.

He keeps looking at the last card in the same careful way, the harsh line his eyebrows usually make eased with consideration. Finally he turns to Stiles, face softer than he ever thought he'd see this early in the game. The vulnerability there, subduing a usually fearsome resting face to something approaching grateful, is a good look on Derek Hale.

Of course it is.

"Stiles, I…"

Derek trails off for a second, like he might not be sure what to say. Like he's as terrible at talking to people as Stiles is. He feels his own heartbeat ramp up in response for some reason, watching the guy get a tiny bit frustrated with himself for not getting the right words out. Stiles gets ready to say something no doubt spectacular that will lead to bonding and friendship when his damn pager rings out like a peal of thunder.

"HELP NEEDED WITH MEAT."

The little box shrills out, too high and loud for whatever they had going on just then.

He jumps back instantly, realizing that he was all up in Derek's space and hadn't met a gruesome end. Or he would have if the pager hadn't rattled him so bad, his eyes wide as dinner plates and a blush coloring his cheeks for some reason. He's being a huge goober and part of him knows that, but most of him can't help himself.

"Uh." Stiles says intelligently because he's a loser.

Derek though… the soft look is gone from his face but for a little while there's something like fond exasperation there. The way he shakes his head like he can't believe he gives this gangly teen the time of day and his nose scrunches, the way a smile lurks around his mouth and his eyebrows shoot up in surprise might actually be Stiles favorite thing.

Well, if Derek would stop making faces long enough for him to pick something be his favorite. It's gone after only a few seconds, but that's okay because Stiles is already backing out of the aisle, flailing his hands in what he hopes indicates that he'll be committing seppuku right after he's finished ringing up whatever costumer decided to ruin whatever moment they were having.

He goes to meet the other person on his register and the process is so routine that it's strangely soothing. Enough that when Derek comes up to pay for the card he's gotten over how lamely he reacted to the pager.

"Meat?" Is the way Derek choses to start the conversation, dry enough that he's messing with Stiles.

"Yeah ah, it's that thing I mentioned, it's from the Meat department. It was that or Floral, and what guy doesn't like meat right?"

A weird laugh bubbles out of his mouth right after like he realized there could be an innuendo there and instead of ignoring it like a normal person around a new possible friend he decided to make things weird anyway. What was wrong with him?

He needed Scott right now, for moral support.

"Right." Is all Derek says, his eyebrows judgmental but his eyes crinkling a little bit and his mouth curving in an almost smile.

When he hands the guy his card and receipt back he's ready for this to be over with, because even though it's going okay he's not sure he can take much more embarrassment.

Only after grabbing his stuff Derek stands there for a second, determined but tense. His gaze is direct and his expression is a little blank.

"Stiles, thank you," he says carefully, all sincerity and emotion despite the lack of visible affect.

God, he might actually be in love with a guy he's only talked to a handful of times.

His smile is a little shy but he can't really help himself, "Yeah, uh… no problem. Anytime." He knows his smile morphed into something completely huge and goofy but at least he's already made this face. 

Derek's mouth quirks again, and even though it's closer to the mask smirk he wears sometimes, it still feels okay. He flashes it at Stiles and makes his way out without another word.

Hopefully next time he won't make as much of a fool of himself. Or barring that, maybe he'll just be better at moving on when he does something silly. It's too bad that he has half his shift left… because all he wants to do is talk to Scott about this like the secret 12 year old that he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ah, dunno when I'll have the next update but the next chapter will have Scott again! Also it might have Allison in it, we'll see. I'm still kind of creating what I want with how the story progresses. Just think of this as a completely non-canon compliant fic where everything will turn out better than the show because this branching universe already calls for that. 
> 
> I do have some very concrete things I want to happen, I'm just still working out WHEN they happen. 
> 
> Uhhhh, lemme know if you guys find anything that felt off or wrong, I've got no one to beta for me so the errors are my own, including characterization, anything that doesn't make sense, and plain old typos. Also if something is off with the formatting, let me know, I wasn't sure about where everything should go so it could be more open and AO3 friendly.


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